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So it's not easy, but if it's really important to both of you, and both of you work at it, it can have a good outcome.

Question from Lois: What about trips that are only for singles?

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And it's easy to grow apart because you're not sharing day-to-day life.

That said, I know people who had HUGE distances between them and survived that and ended up committed and together.

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But just so you know, I was the lead witness against the don't-ask-don't-tell rule in federal court and I testified for gay marriage in Hawaii, and for gay adoption and foster-child placement in Arkansas. Just because you have had some intimate relationships that didn't work out, that doesn't predict the future. If you like to hike, you are likely to meet men who like to hike in a hiking club.